e_juliana: (endure)
[personal profile] e_juliana
Note: The Castro Safeway at 10:30 p.m. on Mother's Day is a freakin' wasteland. The lack of product is not quite Soviet-era, but close. I was there at that time because I had just gotten off a shift at Bertolucci's, wherein I had all of 5 tables and still made good money. Mother's Day dinners are much more profitable than Mother's Day brunches.

Anyway, I have my cart (with a squeaky wheel), I'm so tired I'm almost stumbling, and even though it's unbuttoned all the way to show the tank top underneath, I still have my uniform shirt on, which is covered in polenta and marinara. As I'm going down one aisle or another, this guy walks past me and makes eye contact with me, clearly noticing me. He's good-looking in a far-too clean-cut way for me, dark brown eyes, kind of slim, definitely an inch shorter than me. Whatever, I'm too busy trying to figure out where I know another shopper from - either from MN or Wells Fargo, can't remember, but that dude looks too bitchy for me to walk up to and say, "Seriously, I know you from somewhere." (I do tend to size up most people I see, trying to remember details.)

So I get to the extremely long, extremely understaffed checkout line, and there's a display with hardcover books for $5.99. Most of it's dreck, but one is an Elmore Leonard book. For 6 bucks, I will pick up a hardcover Elmore Leonard. So I put it in my cart, and dude who checked me out comes up behind me and asks about the book. He then proceeds to try to chat me up at intervals, complimenting my eyes, commenting on my cart's contents (overall healthy, except for the beer, which he teased me about), talking about the book, talking about the book he's reading which is a self-help about living in the present moment, and my favorite, saying that I looked pissed when he saw me in the aisle, and he liked the expression I had on now. Except for the eyes, because they're intimidating (or something). I am so exhausted that I just don't care to be speaking, and yet I feel I still have to talk to this dude, because a) polite and b) what if he got pissed that I blew him off? What danger would that put me in? And that got me pissed off - the fact that I have to put that factor in to the equation of social interactions.

Luckily, by that point, the extremely slow line had gotten me up to the checkstand, so I could buy my crap in peace and leave. I said goodbye to him, and then booked it to the truck, making double-extra sure to be aware of my surroundings in the parking lot.

Just, argh. I get that he was trying to live in the present/seize the moment and most likely presented no threat, but... Dude. And frankly, the most I expect out of the Castro Safeway at night is some bitchy insomniacs and random homeless dudes. Maybe some bikers from Lucky 13. But it also reminded me how differently men and women have to weigh social interactions, which is something I don't think men get very often.
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December 2011

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