I keep staring

[e_juliana]

At this picture of my tats.

Actually, at the larger picture that shows more skin.

When I look at my back in the mirror, I don't see the variations in skin tone. Oh, I see some, of course, but not the almost mottled quality that occurs in the pictures. In the pictures, I can pick out where my waistband normally rides, old bruises that have left their mark, and just general life scars.

Looking at my tattoos forces me to contemplate a side of my self that I don't normally see and the subtle variations thereof. I kind of like that. To quote Alexa, "I've gone and found deeper meaning".

So.

I have to find my next tattoo. I have to decide what I want to commemorate or remind myself of next.

Comments

[vwbug.livejournal.com]

Juliana, it's just beautiful. I love it. What does it mean? (I'm sure you've talked about it...I just have had to skip and skim a lot.)

[e-juliana.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)

It's a progressive, going up (so the bottom one is the oldest).

From bottom to top:

Chinese Symbol for Year of the Rabbit - I was born in that year, and I chose it to remind myself that I am lucky (which is one of the attributes of Rabbits).

Kanji for Chaos - I'm slightly overcontrolling. Just a touch. Also, I don't cope well with change. So that is on my back to remind me that chaos can be a good thing.

Kanji for Happiness - It's hard to be happy, isn't it? Sometimes, being unhappy feels safer. I know the landscape of unhappiness, and there's no surprises in there. So, Happiness is on my back to remind me to embrace happiness.

Kanji for Courage - This is on here for two reasons: 1) It looks like a runner, and this tat is to commemorate the marathon. 2) I sometimes have a hard time standing up for myself and my convictions. The tat is on there to remind me to do so.


So. It's a reclaimation and a celebration, this progressive tattoo. It's everything I want to be and am. It's why I love it so much.

[vwbug.livejournal.com]

So cool! I love how you've done the progression.

I've been thinking about getting a tattoo of the Kanji symbol for hope over a scar on my back...the thinking behind it that even when I don't have hope, I have hope. We'll see if I ever go through with it...

[jesseh.livejournal.com]

Sounds like it's time to do something about "together" or something, what with the getting married....UNLESS there's something bigger about the tats being all about you, yourself, alone (even with someone).