I keep staring

[e_juliana]

At this picture of my tats.

Actually, at the larger picture that shows more skin.

When I look at my back in the mirror, I don't see the variations in skin tone. Oh, I see some, of course, but not the almost mottled quality that occurs in the pictures. In the pictures, I can pick out where my waistband normally rides, old bruises that have left their mark, and just general life scars.

Looking at my tattoos forces me to contemplate a side of my self that I don't normally see and the subtle variations thereof. I kind of like that. To quote Alexa, "I've gone and found deeper meaning".

So.

I have to find my next tattoo. I have to decide what I want to commemorate or remind myself of next.

Comments

[vwbug.livejournal.com]

Juliana, it's just beautiful. I love it. What does it mean? (I'm sure you've talked about it...I just have had to skip and skim a lot.)

[e-juliana.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)

It's a progressive, going up (so the bottom one is the oldest).

From bottom to top:

Chinese Symbol for Year of the Rabbit - I was born in that year, and I chose it to remind myself that I am lucky (which is one of the attributes of Rabbits).

Kanji for Chaos - I'm slightly overcontrolling. Just a touch. Also, I don't cope well with change. So that is on my back to remind me that chaos can be a good thing.

Kanji for Happiness - It's hard to be happy, isn't it? Sometimes, being unhappy feels safer. I know the landscape of unhappiness, and there's no surprises in there. So, Happiness is on my back to remind me to embrace happiness.

Kanji for Courage - This is on here for two reasons: 1) It looks like a runner, and this tat is to commemorate the marathon. 2) I sometimes have a hard time standing up for myself and my convictions. The tat is on there to remind me to do so.


So. It's a reclaimation and a celebration, this progressive tattoo. It's everything I want to be and am. It's why I love it so much.

[vwbug.livejournal.com]

So cool! I love how you've done the progression.

I've been thinking about getting a tattoo of the Kanji symbol for hope over a scar on my back...the thinking behind it that even when I don't have hope, I have hope. We'll see if I ever go through with it...