e_juliana: (hatehatehate)
e_juliana ([personal profile] e_juliana) wrote2005-01-26 12:00 pm
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A small rant, not directed at anyone in meatspace, nosireebob.

"Please" and "thank you" are not mere empty phrases to be discarded in this fashionably informal age. They are acknowledgements of a person's basic humanity, a recognition that your request is being processed by a human and not a machine. To not use them informs the requestee of their exact status (or lack thereof) in your mind, fostering resentment and rudeness. Giving commands should be reserved for crises and affairs of state - times when immediacy of action supersedes the need to be polite.

Whether you are addressing a fast-food worker, an administrative assistant, a fellow passenger, or the President of Burundi, basic manners should remain in force at all times. Otherwise, you risk a marker being thrown at your head.

Fucko.

[identity profile] power-puffs-lab.livejournal.com 2005-01-26 06:06 pm (UTC)(link)
I used to work (not at the same company but I had to collaborate with him a lot) with a man who NEVER say "hello" "good bye" "thank you" "please" no basic people skills and really gruff to boot. I finally got used to it. But one day without thinking I asked a volunteer to call him to get some really basic information, she was practially crying when she was done. Never again did I ask anyone else to call him.

[identity profile] e-juliana.livejournal.com 2005-01-26 07:57 pm (UTC)(link)
I seriously wonder about people like that who lack those basic skills.

[identity profile] power-puffs-lab.livejournal.com 2005-01-26 08:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Well the good news is he finally got fired.

Overall I think they actually do suprisingly well in the world. People often feel like they've done something wrong when someone treats them like that and so they give that person more. Rudeness, sadly is often rewarded.

[identity profile] jmhm.livejournal.com 2005-01-26 06:19 pm (UTC)(link)
not to mention that it's a sign of self-respect, a far better way to go through life without unpleasantness, a kind thing to do, and (despite what the hopped up turboyuppies and bored rich housewives amongst us might flatter themselves) a powerful class signifier.

[identity profile] e-juliana.livejournal.com 2005-01-26 07:57 pm (UTC)(link)
As always, you are quite wise.

[identity profile] stephl.livejournal.com 2005-01-26 06:59 pm (UTC)(link)
or the President of Burundi

Je suis le president du Burundi.

Le sange est sur la branche!

[identity profile] e-juliana.livejournal.com 2005-01-26 07:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Snerk.

I have an asshat bugging me today who ends all of his phone calls with "Ciao." I want to tell him that it does not mean what he thinks it means, and that he needs a flag.

[identity profile] pix-kristin.livejournal.com 2005-01-26 07:10 pm (UTC)(link)
A thousand times YES.

I work on this with my (teenaged, ack) high school students constantly.

[identity profile] e-juliana.livejournal.com 2005-01-26 07:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you for ensuring at least one or two kids will know how to behave in public. Thankyouthankyouthankyou.

[identity profile] chicating.livejournal.com 2005-01-26 09:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Please don't be an idiot. Thank you.
(/Homicide likes carrots)

[identity profile] debg.livejournal.com 2005-01-26 09:55 pm (UTC)(link)
What I have to figure out is where common courtesy disappeared into the shadows, where it's been hiding. We utilise both liberally.

An odd aside, though - Nic and I differ completely on addressing a stranger by name. Nic will thank tollbooth workers by name (visible on their badges); I tend to think it's intrusive, because just because they're being forced to tell me their name by their job requirements doesn't equate to wanting me to adddress them by it.

But we both say please and thank you, he with name, me without.

[identity profile] sowilo.livejournal.com 2005-01-26 10:46 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm anti name as well. Too many people are forced to wear nametags that wouldn't want you to know their name if you could avoid it. particularly the first name issue. But, we've all heard my rants on the first name thing.

I always thank, though.

[identity profile] debg.livejournal.com 2005-01-26 11:06 pm (UTC)(link)
My sister in nametag manners!

I will say, Nic is so genuine about it that I've never once seen any of the people in question take even shuttered offense at it. But I couldn't pull that off. I'd feel intrusive.

Hell, if that was me? I'd be tempted to do a Raptor Girl, a la Deena's daughter, glare the stranger being familiar with my name right in the eye, and announce "My. NAME. is. TYRONE!"

[identity profile] manraysky.livejournal.com 2005-01-27 05:02 am (UTC)(link)
Amen, sister.