You're so vain....

Interesting weekend.

Actually, not really. There were performances and parties and the whole shebang, but meh. The ickiness that surrounded the production end of the show really cast a pall over the final performances. Interpersonal conflicts took care of the rest, mucking up the parties. I'm almost looking forward to Alaska now. At least I'll have a genetic reason to be cranky, instead of wondering why I choose to be around certain people. And I'll be able to sleep.

Friday night was mostly fine. The show was off, for a couple of reasons, but still fun. The party was hosted by a castmate and his fiancee, who is a dancer and just fun to be around. Every time I'm around her, I feel the need to go enroll in a modern dance class or summat. Anyway. But, there was still awkwardness with the producing company and with other people who showed up (who weren't supposed to!) and just... meh.

Saturday - again, the show was fine, but the party.... meh. I got to talk with women I like, but it was, again, the producing company and just Awkward. I did rest and run during the day, so that was good.

Sunday, I had coffee with Sally in the morning, and we drove around to look for spaces. I drove around for a while afterwards, as well, still searching for a possible theater space. Then home to read a script, picked up Z from work, and we went for a bike ride. Then... karaoke. Which I just shouldn't have gone to. It started out kind of icky, perked up when envoy was there, and ended kind of icky.

I started out the weekend thinking about how much has changed in a year and how happy I am, and I ended it by realizing how much damage has been done and how much still needs to be repaired. And how I have to do so much of said repairing, for whatever reasons. And you know what? I'm really tired. I'm tired of having to deal with the fallout, of flinching from the scars. I'm tired.

Fuck 'em all.

Oh yeah.

The other stuff that's bugging, and why I will go to Alaska even when I don't want to?

My grandmother is having some sort of procedure done on her heart the week before I go up. She and my mom will be in Anchorage for the procedure, and if everything goes well, they'll be back home the day before I get there. If things do not go well, my uncle Rich will trade places with my mom. Rich will originally be in Fairbanks, taking care of my grandfather, because Grandpa can't go more than a day being by himself. He's just too far gone at this point. Barney won't be able to help, because in addition to having to run the store, he'll be helping his mother (who's pretty far gone herself) settle in to her new home. They're moving this poor woman from Needles, CA to Fairbanks, AK. She won't be able to step foot outside for 6 months out of the year!

Anyway. Mom told me what the procedure is, but I seem to have a mental block about it. I just can't remember.

So, yeah. There's that. My flight up is direct to Anchorage, so if Grandma is still there, I can get off the plane there and drive up with Mom. Which is not a bad drive, by any means. I just hope it's not necessary.