Hey, look, I wrote something.
Dec. 20th, 2011 12:19 am(using my Daddy Winchester icon for this amuses me greatly)
Someday at Christmas
(The Losers)
It's hard for a black-ops team to celebrate holidays or birthdays with any kind of consistency. Thanksgiving turkeys are scarce on the ground in your everyday despot's jungle- or sand- filled playground, and “Happy Birthday” just doesn't sound right with a backdrop of gunfire (explosions are always appropriate on July Fourth, however). Anyone who ever met Jake Jensen assumed that he would be the one to drive any and all celebrations – Hallowe'en especially. Something about boundless energy and a penchant for pirate hats. They weren't... wrong, exactly, but they weren't quite right, either.
As weird as it sounds, Roque was the one who made sure they each got a small Christmas present. Nothing extravagant, just something small and useful or fun. A ratchet wrench for Pooch. Swedish Fish for Jensen. Sniper gloves for Cougar. A mega-pack of condoms for Clay. All things that could easily go in a pack and be carried for however the fuck long it took them to get to whereever they needed to be on that particular December 25th.
(Jolene worries, sometimes, and Pooch can't tell her. Pooch tries so hard, tries everything he can to make the holiday as fun and cheerful for the kids as possible. Pooch can't tell her that he still expects something small and perfect from the man who did his best to appear like the biggest, baddest mofo ever, from the man who sold all of them out. He really can't tell her that sometimes, just sometimes, he thinks Roque was right. That Roque might have been able to take the entire team with him, leaving Clay behind, if only he had fucking tried. Damn him, damn Clay, and damn Aisha all to hell.)
Pooch hates Christmas, hates how big and loud and garish it is, hates the food (except for the cookies – he had always looked forward to Jolene's care packages full of cookies), hates the press of shoppers and the false desperation of finding “the perfect gift”. He wants to scream at all of them, tear the lists out of their hands, and tell them to go home, to look at their loved ones, and just be fucking grateful. That the person who gives you the best gifts you could hope for is also the one who is completely capable of selling your ass out. (Even if he did try to get Pooch out. Pooch is weirdly, bitterly thankful for that. It proves – to him, at least – that Roque hadn't made an absolute mockery of everything. Just a total one.)
Pooch hates Christmas, and prays for the New Year. Maybe, just maybe, this new year will be the one that lets him move on.
Someday at Christmas
(The Losers)
It's hard for a black-ops team to celebrate holidays or birthdays with any kind of consistency. Thanksgiving turkeys are scarce on the ground in your everyday despot's jungle- or sand- filled playground, and “Happy Birthday” just doesn't sound right with a backdrop of gunfire (explosions are always appropriate on July Fourth, however). Anyone who ever met Jake Jensen assumed that he would be the one to drive any and all celebrations – Hallowe'en especially. Something about boundless energy and a penchant for pirate hats. They weren't... wrong, exactly, but they weren't quite right, either.
As weird as it sounds, Roque was the one who made sure they each got a small Christmas present. Nothing extravagant, just something small and useful or fun. A ratchet wrench for Pooch. Swedish Fish for Jensen. Sniper gloves for Cougar. A mega-pack of condoms for Clay. All things that could easily go in a pack and be carried for however the fuck long it took them to get to whereever they needed to be on that particular December 25th.
(Jolene worries, sometimes, and Pooch can't tell her. Pooch tries so hard, tries everything he can to make the holiday as fun and cheerful for the kids as possible. Pooch can't tell her that he still expects something small and perfect from the man who did his best to appear like the biggest, baddest mofo ever, from the man who sold all of them out. He really can't tell her that sometimes, just sometimes, he thinks Roque was right. That Roque might have been able to take the entire team with him, leaving Clay behind, if only he had fucking tried. Damn him, damn Clay, and damn Aisha all to hell.)
Pooch hates Christmas, hates how big and loud and garish it is, hates the food (except for the cookies – he had always looked forward to Jolene's care packages full of cookies), hates the press of shoppers and the false desperation of finding “the perfect gift”. He wants to scream at all of them, tear the lists out of their hands, and tell them to go home, to look at their loved ones, and just be fucking grateful. That the person who gives you the best gifts you could hope for is also the one who is completely capable of selling your ass out. (Even if he did try to get Pooch out. Pooch is weirdly, bitterly thankful for that. It proves – to him, at least – that Roque hadn't made an absolute mockery of everything. Just a total one.)
Pooch hates Christmas, and prays for the New Year. Maybe, just maybe, this new year will be the one that lets him move on.
On November 14, 2004, I fell and broke my face. Only by whatever grace I have did I avoid breaking my neck.
As such, I now consider 11/14 to be the start of my new year. As a way to mark the new year, I usually apologize for any offense I may have given, beg forgiveness, and seek a way to make amends. For various reasons, I wasn't able to do that in 2009. I am able to do that now, at the start of the Lunar New Year and on the day the Western world has decreed will be given over to love.
Your support and love has been invaluable to me. I'd like to take this opportunity to humbly apologize for any offense I may have given, unintentionally or not, and to beg for your forgiveness. If I have offended you, please let me know via message or email so that I may make such amends as I may.
I love and appreciate each and every one of you. Thank you.
As such, I now consider 11/14 to be the start of my new year. As a way to mark the new year, I usually apologize for any offense I may have given, beg forgiveness, and seek a way to make amends. For various reasons, I wasn't able to do that in 2009. I am able to do that now, at the start of the Lunar New Year and on the day the Western world has decreed will be given over to love.
Your support and love has been invaluable to me. I'd like to take this opportunity to humbly apologize for any offense I may have given, unintentionally or not, and to beg for your forgiveness. If I have offended you, please let me know via message or email so that I may make such amends as I may.
I love and appreciate each and every one of you. Thank you.
Damien update
Jan. 15th, 2010 01:29 pmHe seems to have mostly recovered. The bloodwork indicated 2 things, though: an infection, which we are treating, and very early signs of kidney disease. So, now boyo gets special canned food in addition to dry. Hopefully, that will also reverse the weight loss I had been noticing - he's down to 13.3 pounds, which is kind of skinny for him.
He has his play instinct still, which is very good. Less good is the fact that he is very cautious about jumping now - his balance isn't all that great, and he's very tentative even when he's changing surfaces. I don't know if it's a residual effect from his 'sode, or a symptom of something larger. I'm keeping an eye on that, and if it doesn't improve by the time his anti-b's are done, I'll see what the vet can do. If anything, really.
M and I are both super-solicitous of him now, to the point of arranging ourselves on the bed when we get in so he's not disturbed. It's a little ridiculous, but. We're both worried about him having another episode, so we'll continue to err on the side of indulgence.
Thanks for your good thoughts, y'all. They help.
He has his play instinct still, which is very good. Less good is the fact that he is very cautious about jumping now - his balance isn't all that great, and he's very tentative even when he's changing surfaces. I don't know if it's a residual effect from his 'sode, or a symptom of something larger. I'm keeping an eye on that, and if it doesn't improve by the time his anti-b's are done, I'll see what the vet can do. If anything, really.
M and I are both super-solicitous of him now, to the point of arranging ourselves on the bed when we get in so he's not disturbed. It's a little ridiculous, but. We're both worried about him having another episode, so we'll continue to err on the side of indulgence.
Thanks for your good thoughts, y'all. They help.
Hivemind help: I'm making a couple CDs for my work friend Ben. Ben is most often my co-bartender in crime, and our musical tastes overlap to the point where I can make a silly reference about, say, Taking Back Sunday, and he'll get it. So, I've rhapsodized, as I am wont to do, about both Lucero and MCR to him. He's heard some Lucero and likes them, but hasn't really investigated them further. MCR has, so far, failed to grab him. Which is fair, because what I heard of MCR on the radio failed to grab me (I blame you people for the eventual flail).
SO. What should I put on the Lucero and MCR CDs, respectively? I already have ideas for both, but would appreciate hivemind input! (I'm also going to make him a CD of Random Shit Juliana Likes, which will include Midtown, FOB, Corb Lund, and whatever else I feel like tossing on there.)
Songs already on the Lucero CD: San Francisco, All Sewn Up, Nobody's Darlings, And We Fell, I Can Get Us Out Of Here Tonight, Anjalee
Songs already on the MCR CD: Demolition Row, Teenagers, House Of Wolves, Thank You For The Venom, The Sharpest Lives
Thoughts! Concerns! Battle it out in the comments! (Oooooh, we could have a song deathmatch...)
SO. What should I put on the Lucero and MCR CDs, respectively? I already have ideas for both, but would appreciate hivemind input! (I'm also going to make him a CD of Random Shit Juliana Likes, which will include Midtown, FOB, Corb Lund, and whatever else I feel like tossing on there.)
Songs already on the Lucero CD: San Francisco, All Sewn Up, Nobody's Darlings, And We Fell, I Can Get Us Out Of Here Tonight, Anjalee
Songs already on the MCR CD: Demolition Row, Teenagers, House Of Wolves, Thank You For The Venom, The Sharpest Lives
Thoughts! Concerns! Battle it out in the comments! (Oooooh, we could have a song deathmatch...)
Who you gonna call??
Nov. 15th, 2009 10:42 amSo, I have spent the first 10 minutes of the latest SPN ep buried underneath the covers in horror/embarrassment squick/rage. I don't actually know if it's worth pressing on, since I have enough crap to do today. What says the FL?
eta: Also, notably, this is why I don't LARP - that enthusiastic suspension of self. It weirds me out. Which, I know, is REALLY WEIRD for a theater person to say, but there it is.
eta: Also, notably, this is why I don't LARP - that enthusiastic suspension of self. It weirds me out. Which, I know, is REALLY WEIRD for a theater person to say, but there it is.
Hi! This is my first
yuletide, and I am verra excited. Yes.
A few general notes: I am pretty laid-back and just plain happy to get gifts. I do get a bit twitchy about blatant breaks with canon, unless it's a pure crack!fic.
Likes: Crack!fic, h/c, character-driven stories, inner monologues, strong female characters.
Dislikes: Gratutitous character-bashing (esp. canonically strong female characters), RPF, incest, angst for angst's sake, marital infidelity.
( On to the requests!!! )
Again, thank you so much!!!
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A few general notes: I am pretty laid-back and just plain happy to get gifts. I do get a bit twitchy about blatant breaks with canon, unless it's a pure crack!fic.
Likes: Crack!fic, h/c, character-driven stories, inner monologues, strong female characters.
Dislikes: Gratutitous character-bashing (esp. canonically strong female characters), RPF, incest, angst for angst's sake, marital infidelity.
( On to the requests!!! )
Again, thank you so much!!!
I've read more than one book on San Francisco wherein someone remarks upon the strangeness of imposing such a strict (for values of 'strict' that include 16 different grids) grid on such hilly terrain - cities in Europe and South America have worked with the hills, wending the streets around in order to avoid having to cut steps into the sidewalks. Not so for San Francisco. This does afford one some truly breathtaking views of the City at the top of one of the many hills. San Francisco even occasionally stacks hill upon hill - one reaches the glorious summit for which one has labored, huffing and puffing, up a 10% or greater grade, only to be confronted with a downward slope for a block or so and then an even greater ascent.
This morning, I started running west towards the Pacific. This took me up some of the afore-mentioned stacked hills, into the Presidio. The Presidio is one of the places where I can forget both space and time - coming down one of the paths through the eucalyptus and conifers, the view is of old brick buildings nestled in a wooded valley. If you are able to practice selective blindness and ignore the motor vehicles, you could believe you are back in the mid-1800s. I just love the peacefulness of the woods, the few moments of time of feeling truly alone with the wildlife. I even turned my iPod off.
My section of San Francisco isn't particularly green - the overall lack of *green* in the city was one of the strikes against it a long time ago. One of my favorite things about MSP was the fact that I could, if I wanted to, walk or run somewhere that was close to wilderness/away from motor vehicles. I could, for a second, think that I was no longer in a city, just a decently populated stretch of trees. (Being a city person in my bones, I get nervous if I'm away from civilization for longer than a second.) The Presidio, and specifically the path into and through Tennessee Hollow lets that happen for a bit.
After my run in the woods, I turned up into the Main Post and from there to Chrissy Field, where I saw a three-masted and a two-masted ship being accompanied through the Golden Gate and into the Bay by a ship spraying water from its three cannons. I decided to "chase" them by running along the beach, and as I drew near, I could hear the sailors singing. It was a nice warm-up for the Festival of Sail and Parade of Tall Ships next week. I don't plan on going on any of the ships, but I do love watching them come into the Gate. For being a city that is famously only 7 by 7, San Francisco always has something wondrous up its sleeve.
This morning, I started running west towards the Pacific. This took me up some of the afore-mentioned stacked hills, into the Presidio. The Presidio is one of the places where I can forget both space and time - coming down one of the paths through the eucalyptus and conifers, the view is of old brick buildings nestled in a wooded valley. If you are able to practice selective blindness and ignore the motor vehicles, you could believe you are back in the mid-1800s. I just love the peacefulness of the woods, the few moments of time of feeling truly alone with the wildlife. I even turned my iPod off.
My section of San Francisco isn't particularly green - the overall lack of *green* in the city was one of the strikes against it a long time ago. One of my favorite things about MSP was the fact that I could, if I wanted to, walk or run somewhere that was close to wilderness/away from motor vehicles. I could, for a second, think that I was no longer in a city, just a decently populated stretch of trees. (Being a city person in my bones, I get nervous if I'm away from civilization for longer than a second.) The Presidio, and specifically the path into and through Tennessee Hollow lets that happen for a bit.
After my run in the woods, I turned up into the Main Post and from there to Chrissy Field, where I saw a three-masted and a two-masted ship being accompanied through the Golden Gate and into the Bay by a ship spraying water from its three cannons. I decided to "chase" them by running along the beach, and as I drew near, I could hear the sailors singing. It was a nice warm-up for the Festival of Sail and Parade of Tall Ships next week. I don't plan on going on any of the ships, but I do love watching them come into the Gate. For being a city that is famously only 7 by 7, San Francisco always has something wondrous up its sleeve.
Note: The Castro Safeway at 10:30 p.m. on Mother's Day is a freakin' wasteland. The lack of product is not quite Soviet-era, but close. I was there at that time because I had just gotten off a shift at Bertolucci's, wherein I had all of 5 tables and still made good money. Mother's Day dinners are much more profitable than Mother's Day brunches.
Anyway, I have my cart (with a squeaky wheel), I'm so tired I'm almost stumbling, and even though it's unbuttoned all the way to show the tank top underneath, I still have my uniform shirt on, which is covered in polenta and marinara. As I'm going down one aisle or another, this guy walks past me and makes eye contact with me, clearly noticing me. He's good-looking in a far-too clean-cut way for me, dark brown eyes, kind of slim, definitely an inch shorter than me. Whatever, I'm too busy trying to figure out where I know another shopper from - either from MN or Wells Fargo, can't remember, but that dude looks too bitchy for me to walk up to and say, "Seriously, I know you from somewhere." (I do tend to size up most people I see, trying to remember details.)
So I get to the extremely long, extremely understaffed checkout line, and there's a display with hardcover books for $5.99. Most of it's dreck, but one is an Elmore Leonard book. For 6 bucks, I will pick up a hardcover Elmore Leonard. So I put it in my cart, and dude who checked me out comes up behind me and asks about the book. He then proceeds to try to chat me up at intervals, complimenting my eyes, commenting on my cart's contents (overall healthy, except for the beer, which he teased me about), talking about the book, talking about the book he's reading which is a self-help about living in the present moment, and my favorite, saying that I looked pissed when he saw me in the aisle, and he liked the expression I had on now. Except for the eyes, because they're intimidating (or something). I am so exhausted that I just don't care to be speaking, and yet I feel I still have to talk to this dude, because a) polite and b) what if he got pissed that I blew him off? What danger would that put me in? And that got me pissed off - the fact that I have to put that factor in to the equation of social interactions.
Luckily, by that point, the extremely slow line had gotten me up to the checkstand, so I could buy my crap in peace and leave. I said goodbye to him, and then booked it to the truck, making double-extra sure to be aware of my surroundings in the parking lot.
Just, argh. I get that he was trying to live in the present/seize the moment and most likely presented no threat, but... Dude. And frankly, the most I expect out of the Castro Safeway at night is some bitchy insomniacs and random homeless dudes. Maybe some bikers from Lucky 13. But it also reminded me how differently men and women have to weigh social interactions, which is something I don't think men get very often.
Anyway, I have my cart (with a squeaky wheel), I'm so tired I'm almost stumbling, and even though it's unbuttoned all the way to show the tank top underneath, I still have my uniform shirt on, which is covered in polenta and marinara. As I'm going down one aisle or another, this guy walks past me and makes eye contact with me, clearly noticing me. He's good-looking in a far-too clean-cut way for me, dark brown eyes, kind of slim, definitely an inch shorter than me. Whatever, I'm too busy trying to figure out where I know another shopper from - either from MN or Wells Fargo, can't remember, but that dude looks too bitchy for me to walk up to and say, "Seriously, I know you from somewhere." (I do tend to size up most people I see, trying to remember details.)
So I get to the extremely long, extremely understaffed checkout line, and there's a display with hardcover books for $5.99. Most of it's dreck, but one is an Elmore Leonard book. For 6 bucks, I will pick up a hardcover Elmore Leonard. So I put it in my cart, and dude who checked me out comes up behind me and asks about the book. He then proceeds to try to chat me up at intervals, complimenting my eyes, commenting on my cart's contents (overall healthy, except for the beer, which he teased me about), talking about the book, talking about the book he's reading which is a self-help about living in the present moment, and my favorite, saying that I looked pissed when he saw me in the aisle, and he liked the expression I had on now. Except for the eyes, because they're intimidating (or something). I am so exhausted that I just don't care to be speaking, and yet I feel I still have to talk to this dude, because a) polite and b) what if he got pissed that I blew him off? What danger would that put me in? And that got me pissed off - the fact that I have to put that factor in to the equation of social interactions.
Luckily, by that point, the extremely slow line had gotten me up to the checkstand, so I could buy my crap in peace and leave. I said goodbye to him, and then booked it to the truck, making double-extra sure to be aware of my surroundings in the parking lot.
Just, argh. I get that he was trying to live in the present/seize the moment and most likely presented no threat, but... Dude. And frankly, the most I expect out of the Castro Safeway at night is some bitchy insomniacs and random homeless dudes. Maybe some bikers from Lucky 13. But it also reminded me how differently men and women have to weigh social interactions, which is something I don't think men get very often.
Brain... asplode...
May. 7th, 2009 07:25 amMe: What are you watching?
M: Some game show. Meatloaf's hosting, Flock of Seagulls and Toto are playing. note: I heard "Tool" the first time, which made it even more surreal
Me: Um. I have to go over here now.
Seriously, some conversations should never happen at 7 in the morning, or at least pre-coffee.
Stay classy, LJ
May. 3rd, 2009 11:23 amI'm over at DreamWidth here. (Thanks to
arliss for the invite.) Haven't made it comfy yet, but I'm there. Please feel free to "circle" me, or whatever. I'm paid up here through November, so I won't be pulling up stakes soon, but I try not to give (any more) money to people who take money from anti-gay groups. Capitalism is capitalism, business is business, etc.
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Cage The Elephant is really the best bellwether we have for the 90s revival. Also, catchy tune. Too bad Live105 seems to have changed its programming to "a lot of 90s tunes, some late-80s tunes, and an occasional new tune". Fuckers.
OMG Favre SHUT UP. Also, if you put on the purple and gold, you will join the ranks of Names I Do Not Speak. Think about your legacy, son.
Still no nibbles on the job front, and CA is being slow about paying me unemployment. I need my money, fuckers!
CA may have whackadoodles and Prop 8, but at least we don't have Michelle Bachmann and Norm Coleman. Having met Norm, I can safely say he is a slimeball of the highest order.
I bought a red Trixie2 dress. I probably won't be going to the Kentucky Derby party I bought it for, but any chance to look bombshell-ish, right?
I whacked my head on Saturday, and I now have a spider bite on one of the tendons on the back of my neck. Between that and the wind, I'm having a hard time getting motivated for a run.
So, say I wanted to do a personal project and make a mock-up of a fake magazine. Would I be insane to try to make it All About Shakespeare's Characters? I would, wouldn't I? Focus on the form, not the content. Right. (Still, a rock-style magazine populated by bands based on Will's stuff would be awesome, IMHO.)
I had fucked-up dreams last night, all about bookstores and highschools and floods.
I should really go for a run.
OMG Favre SHUT UP. Also, if you put on the purple and gold, you will join the ranks of Names I Do Not Speak. Think about your legacy, son.
Still no nibbles on the job front, and CA is being slow about paying me unemployment. I need my money, fuckers!
CA may have whackadoodles and Prop 8, but at least we don't have Michelle Bachmann and Norm Coleman. Having met Norm, I can safely say he is a slimeball of the highest order.
I bought a red Trixie2 dress. I probably won't be going to the Kentucky Derby party I bought it for, but any chance to look bombshell-ish, right?
I whacked my head on Saturday, and I now have a spider bite on one of the tendons on the back of my neck. Between that and the wind, I'm having a hard time getting motivated for a run.
So, say I wanted to do a personal project and make a mock-up of a fake magazine. Would I be insane to try to make it All About Shakespeare's Characters? I would, wouldn't I? Focus on the form, not the content. Right. (Still, a rock-style magazine populated by bands based on Will's stuff would be awesome, IMHO.)
I had fucked-up dreams last night, all about bookstores and highschools and floods.
I should really go for a run.
I'm in love with my own sins
Jan. 21st, 2009 04:25 pmBandom's growing up, peeps. Remember when "selling out" used to be the devil?
So, Coca-Cola announces this today:
I read on Idolator today that it:
Apparently they'll debut a snippet of it during American Idol tonight.
I wonder - in this day and age of synergistic marketing and 360 deals - do "kids these days" have any idea of the concept of "selling out"? I remember being heartbroken at hearing a favorite singer shill for Coca-Cola way back in the day. I remember my parents being furious at Beatles tracks being used for advertising. I don't think it works that way anymore, but I could be wrong.
So, Coca-Cola announces this today:
Coca-Cola and Warner Music are to partner on a download release as part of the brand's new "Open Happiness" global marketing campaign.
The track, titled "Open Happiness," was announced at the MIDEM international music Market and conference in Cannes, during the "Exploring New Models For Brands and Music Partnerships" panel.
Umut Ozaydinli, music marketing manager for Coca-Cola's Worldwide Sports and Entertainment Marketing division, said the track would be marketed via billions of cans of coke
The song, set for release in March via Atlantic, features Fall Out Boy's Patrick Stump and Janelle Monae and is set to feature on the TV campaign.
I read on Idolator today that it:
will also have contributions from Cee-Lo, Panic at the Disco's Brendon Urie, and Gym Class Heroes' Travis McCoy. And it'll be produced by Butch Walker. And Polow Da Don.
Apparently they'll debut a snippet of it during American Idol tonight.
I wonder - in this day and age of synergistic marketing and 360 deals - do "kids these days" have any idea of the concept of "selling out"? I remember being heartbroken at hearing a favorite singer shill for Coca-Cola way back in the day. I remember my parents being furious at Beatles tracks being used for advertising. I don't think it works that way anymore, but I could be wrong.
More Joy Day!
Jan. 15th, 2009 11:38 amAs is evidenced by many people on my f-list, today is More Joy Day. I approve of this, as I and many other people I know need more joy.
So, my small contribution to this day is: Leave a comment about something you'd like me to write a limerick or haiku about. (Preferably something I've a shot at knowing something about, or at least easily Wikipedia-able.) I will attempt to write it today, but it might take me a bit.
Yes, I will write silly, short poems for More Joy Day. I think this apropos.
So, my small contribution to this day is: Leave a comment about something you'd like me to write a limerick or haiku about. (Preferably something I've a shot at knowing something about, or at least easily Wikipedia-able.) I will attempt to write it today, but it might take me a bit.
Yes, I will write silly, short poems for More Joy Day. I think this apropos.